If I were a gangsta, let's be honest, I wouldn't be writing this post. I would be tagging a wall or jacking a car or ballin' in my Escalade. But let's suspend reality, shall we?
I think, deep down, everyone has an inner gangster that just needs to be unlocked, ya know? I feel it. I think I've figured out how. Here are my top ten things to accomplish before I can be a real G:
1. Get jumped into a gang
I'm not looking forward to this, but it must be done. Otherwise, I'm a poser.
2. Flash gang signs
Easy enough. I guess I need to know what they mean first; I don't wanna get whooped.
3. Tag something
I think that's doable.
| A moving object?? LEGIT. |
4. Kill a man
With a trident? Done. Tear drop tat that. I think I'll lay low for a while . . .
5. Buy some rims for my ride
This is what it would look like all jacked up.
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| Sick, right?? |
6. Get a couple three tats
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| Too skanky? Represent! |
7. Wear the colors, ice up the bling, lean into the swag
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| Mmm, sexy |
8. Bump Wiz Khalifa and Snoop in my car
Wait, I do that. Check!
9. Gangsta name
According to the Gangsta Name Generator, my gangsta name is Stanky Left-hand Jimma Jamma. I'm cool wit dat, but I think it's more legit if it comes from an actual cholo . . . so my cholito friend crowned me "Killa Billion." It's got a good ring to it, no?
| Sup, Killa B! |
10. Rap to a fat beat
You think I'm just a white girl, but I'm gonna Busta some Rhymes. Check it.
11. (Bonus!) Don't get shot
Or maybe do? Is that more hard core?
You know, it's not easy being a thug, but somebody's gotta do it. Now put on your Bobby-Ray Bands and do the Cholo YOLO. Happy g-ing!
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